or an equalist or whatever you crazy kids are calling it these days…
Hello! My name is Rob. I’m a boy. I have boy parts and everything. More importantly I self-assign as a boy, but that’s a chat for another day…I’m here to help all you chaps out there who are wondering about feminism and being a feminist. It can be a madcap world out there, gender politics and the like. Well, I’m here to help you out with some top tips!
(Lordy I get very British when I type…)
- Never ever ever EVER assume consent. EVER
This is a biggie. Never assume you have consent with lady. Not with the lady you met down the pub or the wife you’ve been married to for fifty years. Consent is given each and every time. Even if you’ve just had the filthiest, best sex of you life, don’t assume that round two is sure-thing.
Even if you are in the MIDDLE of the best sex of you life, if she says stop, you be a man and pull out. Even the most intense of BDSM relationships are based on consent. And an esoteric safeword.
And there is nothing in this world you can do that means you will be ‘owed’ sex or love or affection. A lady doesn’t owe you a damn thing (unless she’s borrowed something, in which case she probably does), she doesn’t owe you a shag, she doesn’t owe you a kiss, she doesn’t owe you prettiness, dressing up, shaved legs, cuteness or anything. She might choose to do these things for you, or for her, but at no point does she owe them to you.- Treat everyone the same.
Whilst everyone is a individual and a beautiful snowflake, you can’t start drawing imaginary lines in the sand based on things such as sex. Your bro getting laid last night is as awesome as your female friend doing the same. One isn’t a player and one isn’t a slut. They are just lucky.
And this is a far wider topic than merely just sex. The jock in your high-school is as likely to really like needle-craft and guns as the cheerleader is to like make-up and video-games. Don’t put ladies in the boxes you make for them, or the boxes you think they belong in, let them make their own. There are no such things as boys activities and girls activities.
Except for soggy biscuit, that tends to be a boys game.- Understand How Lucky You Are.
And it is exactly that, luck. You are born a chap? Well good. You did nothing to earn that.
And yet, the world will treat you like you are golden, you get the best jobs, you get best pay, you get away with doing what you like without much repercussions. This is often referred to as Unpacking The Privilege Backpack. But it boils down to this, you are bloody lucky.
And don’t say ‘well they get boobs, that makes up for it’. It doesn’t.- Don’t Feel Bad For Your Urges.
I like ladies. One might even say that I fancy them a bit. A lot. I like the curves and the soft bits and the hard bits and the hair and the….. I could go on.
Feminism is not saying you can’t find women attractive, its not saying you can’t look at a woman on the street and think ‘why hello, I’d like to see you with no clothes on’. But it’s about understanding that the lady in question is going to an equal partner in that undressing and that the lump of grey matter above her neck is far more important than the two flesh-coloured ones below. And that your desire for that lady in no way gives you any kind of rights or expectations to her having them back. You might be as ugly as sin.- Feminism Frees Us As Well.
I bloody love baking. I love it. Give me a bowl, some cupcake moulds and cupboard full of ingredients, you won’t see me for hours.
I think Ryan Gosling is a damn fine looking man.
But, because I’m a 6ft straight burly chap, both of these things are frowned upon by our current society.
The advantage of a post-patriarchal society is that we should be rid of these stupid notions of what a man is, of the things its OK for him to do and not do. We get to do what we want to do, without worrying what the gender-based society will think of us.- Understand You Will Screw It Up.
Everyone is human, and as member of this most dominant of species, we mess up all the time. Accept this, don’t beat yourself up over a slightest thing you do, and don’t let anyone else either. You are working towards a good end goal here, don’t let the hiccups stop you seeing your destination.
I’m sure I’ve got a few things wrong in this post, that my feminism friends will happily correct me on, but that’s OK, that’s good. Only by debate and conversation do we learn. I’m nothing special, the existence of male feminists aren’t unicorns or a sign the battle is won, I’m just a chap trying to be a better chap.Well, that’s enough to be getting on with, I may update this at a later date I think about stuff.
But if that whole thing is tl:dr for you, it boils down to a simple idea:
People are all people, start treating everyone like you would like to be treated.

which is having trouble getting bipartisan support these days.
But I thought abuse of power was the point of power?
The lies go beyond instantly dismissible claims like President Obama being the “food stamp president” (why you have to go back one whole administration to discover that more people joined the food stamp ranks under Bush than Obama, but then the Republicans don’t seem to remember Bush in any case). The blatant lies extend through every aspect of the Republican platform, such as it is. The simple reason is that the Republicans have no ideas left, at least no ideas that have not been tested and proven to be failures again, and again, and again.
The economy didn’t just crash under a Republican president, it crashed under Republican policies. It crashed with low taxes. It crashed with deregulated markets. It crashed with huge restrictions on union activity. It crashed with massive cuts in environmental regulations. It crashed with lowered trade barriers. It crashed with big fat Pentagon spending.
They got what they wanted. They got CEOs with no limits on their wealth. They got banks with no limits on their “creativity.” They got trade agreements that guaranteed manufacturing could be moved to the dirtiest, cheapest, most desperate source available. They got massive cuts in capital gains taxes and equally large boosts in the wealth they could pass along in estates. They got everything they said would make us all wealthy. They got record oil and gas drilling. They got record giveaways of public land. They got everything they said would create jobs. They got the middle class to shoulder more, more, more of the burden so that those beautiful job creators would be free to work their magic.
They can’t say the economy crashed because taxes went up, because they didn’t. They can’t say that the economy crashed because there was a raft of new regulation, because there wasn’t. They can’t blame it on “union thugs” or Saul Alinsky or the guy who writes Happy Holidays cards at Hallmark. They can’t blame it on a president who was elected when the world was already in free fall. Only, of course they do. They say it because they have no choice.
For the same reason that they have to maintain that global warming is the creation of a conspiracy of scientists, and that evolution is a conspiracy of other scientists, and that gay marriage is a threat to “traditional” marriage. They have to lie about the threat of illegal immigrants. Lie about the state of the national debt. Lie about the effects of the President’s health care plan. They have to lie, because lies are all they have left.
WIL WHEATON 4 PREZ.
If the next generation has sons that are as repulsed by rape as they should be then we won’t need to worry about our daughter’s clothing. Hell, if we just make our generation shift the blame from the victim to the perpetrator and recognize rape as an act of violence rather…
Read the rest. You will not be sad.
From the BUST Blog. Made by Bill Stiteler, who also directed and made my SFX acceptance speech video…
Photo by the amazing http://www.aliyanaumoff.com/
Something to amuse people until I return.
dang, sir.