slytherintomychamberofsecrets:
One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious. When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the president’s secret service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner. Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, “Why was he so interested in talking to you.” She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her. President Obama then said, “So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant,” to which Michelle responded, “No. If I had married him, he would now be the President.”
BOOM
I take the quotations an stories attributed to these guys with a pinch of salt. It’s the old adage, if something seems too good to be true…
but I hope they become the urban legends our children are raised with, because narratively, they’re rather excellent.
Sorry if you’ve seen it before and this is old news, but I just wanted to share this with everybody. <3
Not for the faint of heart.
OMFG WHATEVER YOU DO DON’T YOU DARE FUCKING READ THIS COMIC PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS COMIC I REPEAT DON’T READ THIS FUCKING COMIC IT SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME PLEASE DO NOT READ IT
Fucking crying right now. I am not going to bed now. Nope. Can’t make me. FML. *sobbing*
Oh jesus fuck this thing.
I read it, going “Is this what I think it is?” because I’m a fucking idiot.
Oh, sweet Jesus! Why did I read this?!
It’s been translated! Awesome! My Korean is… non-existent.
This book was basically the aquatic version of Elmer the Elephant and I LOVED IT.
A little tune for the departed. I’ll miss you.
Black Box Recorder - Child Psychology
See, if I tag this with any trigger warnings, he will shout at me.
Just - try to listen with a positive frame of mind.
The sea. The smell of fish. The smell of the sea. Sand under my feet. Sunsets. Rain. The smell of cities after it rains. The cinema. Popcorn. Being warm and being cold. Sleeping. Waking up. Sex. Eating. Music. Music I know. Music I’d forgotten about. Music I’d never heard before. Onions. Animals….
Some truly spectacular sci-fi. Heartily recommended.
An old Italian gentleman lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days. Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Papa, Don’t dig up that garden. That’ s where the bodies are buried. Love, Vinnie
At 4 a.m. The next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Papa, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances. Love you, Vinnie
True or not, this is a lovely story.